Queens & Funerary traditions

As a departure doula, I’m fascinated with the funerary and mourning rituals surrounding the death of Queen Elizabeth. Did you know most of our current “traditional” funeral customs came from another queen?

Some quick thoughts about howVictorian tradition shaped our modern funeral industry.

But, you’re a death doula. What’s all this happiness stuff doing here?

My husband asked me a question yesterday that I’m sure many of you are asking. “Why are you posting about all the happiness stuff when you exist to serve those who are dying or grieving?” Good question, Babe.

My answer: Being happy in our life will make us happier when we approach end of life. Even more important, thinking about our death can actually help us be happier. Now.

Why YOUR happiness matters

I’m generally optimistic, but my optimism is tempered with a healthy dose of realism. And it’s obvious that life outside my front door? Well, it’s a mess. How on earth could I possibly be telling you that your happiness should be a priority and that it matters not just to me, but the world when we’re inundated with bad news, scandals, meanness and injustice everywhere you turn.? Because it’s a scientific fact that your happiness not only makes you healthier; it makes the whole world better. Happiness is contagious. That’s not just some toxically-positive social meme pablum; it’s scientifically proven. So your happiness can change the world.

Grief impacts ALL of you

Society incorrectly believes that grief is an emotion. Instead, grief itself is something you experience, which means you “feel” all kinds of emotions as you live it. Grieving impacts your body, mind and spirit as much as any other part of life you experience: vacations, job searches, marriages, divorces, school, and on and on. What are some ways the grief experience affects your physical body, and what can you do to mitigate some of those issues? Let’s talk about that.

Your presence is powerful

Want to know how to help someone you love deal with loss or trauma? I recommend “What Happened To You?” by Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph. D and Oprah Winfrey. It emphasizes the importance of connectedness and being present for those you love. We can all learn how to be truly present with those weContinue reading “Your presence is powerful”

Let’s talk about getting older

It’s my birthday month. Last year was a big – ZERO year, but also pandemic, so I didn’t do much to commemorate it. This year, each day until my birthday I want to talk about getting older and aging. We so undervalue our elders in this society, which leads to so many dreadful living andContinue reading “Let’s talk about getting older”